ಒಂದು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡ ಸಂಜೆಗೆ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋದ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ಎದೆಗೊರಗಿದಾಗ ಚಿಮ್ಮಿದ ಒಂದು ಕಣ್ಣೀರು ಒರೆಸಲು ಬಂದ ನಿನ್ನ ಕಿರು ಬೆರಳು ಕೋಟಿ ಮಾತನ್ನು ಮೀಟಿ ನಿಂತ ಮೌನ ಒಂದು ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಹುಟ್ಟಲು ಎಷ್ಟು ಸಾಲದೇ ಹುಡುಗಿ ?????//
ಅಮ್ಮ ಈ ಎರಡೇ ಅಕ್ಷರ ಎಂತಹವರನ್ನು ಸೋಲಿಸುತ್ತದೆ ಆದರೆ ಅದೇ ಎರಡಕ್ಷರದ ಸಾವು ಅದಕ್ಕಿಂತ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿನ ನೋವನ್ನು ಕೊಡುತ್ತದೆ. ಅಮ್ಮ ನಿನ್ನ ಮಮತೆ, ವಾತ್ಸಲ್ಯಗಳ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ನಾನೇ ಅಲ್ಲ ಆ ಸೃಷ್ಟಿ ಕರ್ತನಿಂದಲೂ ನಿನ್ನ ಬಣ್ಣಿಸಲು ಸಾದ್ಯವಿಲ್ಲ. ದಯವಿಟ್ಟು ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಮ್ಮ ನಿನ್ನ ನಾ ಬಣ್ಣಿಸಲಾರೆ........................
ಅಮ್ಮ ನೀ ತೋರಿಸಿದಂತ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಮಮತೆ ಇಲ್ಲಿಯವರೆಗೂ ಯಾರಲ್ಲಿಯೂ ಕಂಡಿಲ್ಲ, ನನಗೆ ನನ್ನ ಮೇಲೆ ಬೇಸರ ಪಡುವಷ್ಟು ದಿನಗಳು ಇಷ್ಟು ಬೇಗ ಬಂದುಬಿಡುತ್ತದೆ ಅಂತ ನಾ ಊಹಿಸಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ ಆದರೆ ನನ್ನ ನೋವನ್ನು ಮರೆಸಲು ನೀನು ಇನ್ನೊಬ್ಬಳನ್ನು ನಿನ್ನ ರೂಅಪದಲ್ಲಿ ಕಳಿಸಮ್ಮ ಅಂತಲೂ ನಾ ಕೇಳುವುದಿಲ್ಲ ನೀ ಕೊಟ್ಟ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಮಮತೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ನಾ ಯಾರಲ್ಲಿಯೂ ನೋಡಲು ಬಯಸುವುದಿಲ್ಲ, ಅಮ್ಮ ಇಲ್ಲಿರುವುದು ಹುಸಿ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾರಿಗೂ ನಾನಾಗಲಿ ನನ್ನ ಭಾವನೆಗಲಾಗಲಿ ಯಾರಿಗೂ ಅರ್ಥವಾಗುತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ, ಎಲ್ಲ ಇದ್ದು ಇಲ್ಲದವನಂತೆ ಇರುವ ನನ್ನ ಪಾಡು ಕಣ್ಣು, ಕಿವಿ, ಬಾಯಿ, ಮೂಗಿಲ್ಲದವನಂತೆ................???????????????
ಅಮ್ಮ ನಿನ್ನ ಅಗಲಿಕೆ ನನ್ನ ದಿನ ದಿನ ಪ್ರತಿಕ್ಷಣ ಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಿದೆ ......................ನಿನ್ನೂರು ಯಾವುದಮ್ಮ????????????????????
ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಪ್ರೀತಿಗೆ ಬೆಲೆ ಕಟ್ಟೋರೆ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ನನ್ನ ಭಾವನೆಗಳಿಗಾಗಲಿ ನನ್ನ ನೋವಿಗಾಗಲಿ ಸ್ಪಂದಿಸುವವರು ಯಾರು ಇಲ್ಲಮ್ಮ ಇಲ್ಲಿ ನಮಗೆ ನಾವೇ ನಮ್ಮವರು ಅಂದುಕೊಂದೋರು ಯಾವತ್ತು ನಮ್ಮವರು ಆಗಲಾರರು, ಹುಟ್ಟು ಹುಟ್ಟುತ ಅಣ್ಣ ತಮ್ಮಂದಿರು ಬೆಳೆ ಬೆಳೆಯುತ ದಾಯಾದಿಗಳು ಅನ್ನೋ ಮಾತು ನಾನು ೧೦ ನೇ ತರಗತಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಓದುವಾಗ ಅರ್ಥ ಆಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ ಈಗ ಅರ್ಥ ಆಯ್ತು,ಅಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನ ಇಷ್ಟು ಕಷ್ಟ ಅಂತ ನಿಜವಾಗಲು ನಂಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಿರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
MOM
This one is for you amma...it’s been a year, but still feels like yesterday
My mother, who passed away on 21-3-2009, was (and still is) my best friend, my confidante, my universe, my light, my everything. When she passed, a part of me died along with her, and I can not seem to get over the guilt I feel that I am still here and she's gone. The day before she died, she sleeping on my legs and was telling don’t believe anyone and she cried like small kid even I tooo (this is the last thought from my mom). I still dream about that day, I can still vividly see her in my brother’s room I wasn't thinking too clearly that day, she wanted to sooo bad to go to heaven before I had gone to my cousin’s marriage she told don’t come till Monday if u come I will beat u what she said to me after that she asked give me Rs 200 I shouted what u will do in that money first u have food then I will give want u want then she started to cry I said mom See, it's so bad crying in front of me." am telling lie next to her I too crying before I left I given 150 and said mom have food and tablets at time. And I was dying myself I clearly saw her face, before I leave she hold my hand tightly and said take care have food properly don’t think about me (this is the last word to me).I left home after that I felt somewhat to leave my mom and go. 20th of March 2009, I had been to my cousin native and I enjoyed lot and then while going to sleep I given a call to my brother and asked how is mom he said she is sleeping u speak with her morning, I don’t know why this day I got nice sleep ……early morning exactly I don’t know the time my brother was trying to speak with me from 5.30 am itseems but there was no network finally I got call but still I was sleeping and straight away he said mom is no more she left us night only( I dint speak anything full body was shivering, words are not coming out). Beside me my cousin was standing and he took phone we dint inform anyone and we left without saying anyone because evening marriage was there, after that more than 60 KM we came in bike am totally unconscious we reached home tragedy is I dint see her face only simply I went to my room and latched it………..after that so many came n take me out……..I was crying like small kid…..even now ever………..crying ………………….
MOM I MISS U
Does she know the truth of how much I really love her? Does she know the truth how much I truly care for her? I am crying so hard right now!! Can anyone tell me the answers???
CªÀÄä F JgÀqÉà CPÀëgÀ JAvÀºÀªÀgÀ£ÀÄß ¸ÉÆð¸ÀÄvÀÛzÉ DzÀgÉ CzÉà JgÀqÀPÀPÀëgÀzÀ ¸ÁªÀÅ CzÀQÌAvÀ ºÉaÑ£À £ÉÆêÀ£ÀÄß PÉÆqÀÄvÀÛzÉ. CªÀÄä ¤£Àß ªÀĪÀÄvÉ, ªÁvÀì®åUÀ¼À §UÉÎ £Á£Éà J®è D ¸À馅 PÀvÀð¤AzÀ®Æ ¤£Àß §tÂÚ¸À®Ä ¸ÁzsÀå«®è zÀAiÀÄ«lÄÖ PÀë«Ä¸ÀÄ ¤£Àß £Á §tÂÚ¸À¯ÁgÉ.
CªÀÄä ¤Ã vÉÆÃj¹zÀAvÀ ¦æÃw ªÀĪÀÄvÉ E°èAiÀĪÀgÉUÀÆ AiÀiÁgÀ°èAiÀÄÄ PÀAr®è, £À£ÀUÉ £À£Àß ªÉÄÃ¯É ¨ÉøÀgÀ ¥ÀqÀĪÀµÀÄÖ ¢£ÀUÀ¼ÀÄ EµÀÄÖ ¨ÉÃUÀ §AzÀÄ©qÀÄvÀÛzÉ CAvÀ £Á H»¹gÀ°®è DzÀgÉ £À£Àß £ÉÆêÀ£ÀÄß ªÀÄgɸÀ®Ä ¤Ã£ÀÄ M§â¼À£ÀÄß ¤£Àß gÀÆ¥ÀzÀ°è PÀ½¸ÀªÀÄä CAvÀ®Æ £Á PÉüÀĪÀÅ¢®è ¤Ã PÉÆlÖ ¦æÃw ªÀÄvÉÛ £Á AiÀiÁgÀ°èAiÀÄÆ £ÉÆÃqÀ®Ä §AiÀĸÀĪÀÅ¢®,è CªÀÄä E°ègÀĪÀÅzÀÄ §j ºÀĹ ¦æÃw E°è AiÀiÁjUÀÆ £Á£ÁUÀ°Ã £À£Àß ¨sÁªÀ£ÉUÀ¼ÁUÀ° AiÀiÁjUÀÆ CxÀðªÁUÀÄwÛ®è, J®è EzÀÄÝ E®èzÀªÀ£ÀAvÉ EgÀĪÀ £À£Àß ¥ÁqÀÄ PÀtÄÚ, Q«, ¨Á¬Ä, ªÀÄÆV®èzÀªÀ£ÀAvÉ? because “all I got from my life is only hurts” CªÀÄä ¤£Àß CUÀ°PÉ £À£Àß ¢£À ¢£À ¥ÀæwPÀët PÉÆ®ÄwÛzÉ.
¤£ÀÆßgÀÄ AiÀiÁªÀÅzÀªÀÄä . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
We can close our eyes what we don’t want to see
But
We cant close our heart what we don’t want to feel
My mother, who passed away on 21-3-2009, was (and still is) my best friend, my confidante, my universe, my light, my everything. When she passed, a part of me died along with her, and I can not seem to get over the guilt I feel that I am still here and she's gone. The day before she died, she sleeping on my legs and was telling don’t believe anyone and she cried like small kid even I tooo (this is the last thought from my mom). I still dream about that day, I can still vividly see her in my brother’s room I wasn't thinking too clearly that day, she wanted to sooo bad to go to heaven before I had gone to my cousin’s marriage she told don’t come till Monday if u come I will beat u what she said to me after that she asked give me Rs 200 I shouted what u will do in that money first u have food then I will give want u want then she started to cry I said mom See, it's so bad crying in front of me." am telling lie next to her I too crying before I left I given 150 and said mom have food and tablets at time. And I was dying myself I clearly saw her face, before I leave she hold my hand tightly and said take care have food properly don’t think about me (this is the last word to me).I left home after that I felt somewhat to leave my mom and go. 20th of March 2009, I had been to my cousin native and I enjoyed lot and then while going to sleep I given a call to my brother and asked how is mom he said she is sleeping u speak with her morning, I don’t know why this day I got nice sleep ……early morning exactly I don’t know the time my brother was trying to speak with me from 5.30 am itseems but there was no network finally I got call but still I was sleeping and straight away he said mom is no more she left us night only( I dint speak anything full body was shivering, words are not coming out). Beside me my cousin was standing and he took phone we dint inform anyone and we left without saying anyone because evening marriage was there, after that more than 60 KM we came in bike am totally unconscious we reached home tragedy is I dint see her face only simply I went to my room and latched it………..after that so many came n take me out……..I was crying like small kid…..even now ever………..crying ………………….
MOM I MISS U
Does she know the truth of how much I really love her? Does she know the truth how much I truly care for her? I am crying so hard right now!! Can anyone tell me the answers???
CªÀÄä F JgÀqÉà CPÀëgÀ JAvÀºÀªÀgÀ£ÀÄß ¸ÉÆð¸ÀÄvÀÛzÉ DzÀgÉ CzÉà JgÀqÀPÀPÀëgÀzÀ ¸ÁªÀÅ CzÀQÌAvÀ ºÉaÑ£À £ÉÆêÀ£ÀÄß PÉÆqÀÄvÀÛzÉ. CªÀÄä ¤£Àß ªÀĪÀÄvÉ, ªÁvÀì®åUÀ¼À §UÉÎ £Á£Éà J®è D ¸À馅 PÀvÀð¤AzÀ®Æ ¤£Àß §tÂÚ¸À®Ä ¸ÁzsÀå«®è zÀAiÀÄ«lÄÖ PÀë«Ä¸ÀÄ ¤£Àß £Á §tÂÚ¸À¯ÁgÉ.
CªÀÄä ¤Ã vÉÆÃj¹zÀAvÀ ¦æÃw ªÀĪÀÄvÉ E°èAiÀĪÀgÉUÀÆ AiÀiÁgÀ°èAiÀÄÄ PÀAr®è, £À£ÀUÉ £À£Àß ªÉÄÃ¯É ¨ÉøÀgÀ ¥ÀqÀĪÀµÀÄÖ ¢£ÀUÀ¼ÀÄ EµÀÄÖ ¨ÉÃUÀ §AzÀÄ©qÀÄvÀÛzÉ CAvÀ £Á H»¹gÀ°®è DzÀgÉ £À£Àß £ÉÆêÀ£ÀÄß ªÀÄgɸÀ®Ä ¤Ã£ÀÄ M§â¼À£ÀÄß ¤£Àß gÀÆ¥ÀzÀ°è PÀ½¸ÀªÀÄä CAvÀ®Æ £Á PÉüÀĪÀÅ¢®è ¤Ã PÉÆlÖ ¦æÃw ªÀÄvÉÛ £Á AiÀiÁgÀ°èAiÀÄÆ £ÉÆÃqÀ®Ä §AiÀĸÀĪÀÅ¢®,è CªÀÄä E°ègÀĪÀÅzÀÄ §j ºÀĹ ¦æÃw E°è AiÀiÁjUÀÆ £Á£ÁUÀ°Ã £À£Àß ¨sÁªÀ£ÉUÀ¼ÁUÀ° AiÀiÁjUÀÆ CxÀðªÁUÀÄwÛ®è, J®è EzÀÄÝ E®èzÀªÀ£ÀAvÉ EgÀĪÀ £À£Àß ¥ÁqÀÄ PÀtÄÚ, Q«, ¨Á¬Ä, ªÀÄÆV®èzÀªÀ£ÀAvÉ? because “all I got from my life is only hurts” CªÀÄä ¤£Àß CUÀ°PÉ £À£Àß ¢£À ¢£À ¥ÀæwPÀët PÉÆ®ÄwÛzÉ.
¤£ÀÆßgÀÄ AiÀiÁªÀÅzÀªÀÄä . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
We can close our eyes what we don’t want to see
But
We cant close our heart what we don’t want to feel
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